I Like Presents

Someone should buy me some DVDs. I'm craving Deadly Friend with Kristy Swanson, Jet Lag with Juliette Binoche and D.E.B.S. with Devon Aoki. Who am I kidding? Nobody cares about me. At least I have a 30% off coupon from my favorite store. I think I'll buy something for myself after payday. Then again, I already splurged and picked up a $5.00 copy of Deuce Bigalow 2 at the local drugstore. Ebert called it the worst movie in history. I strongly disagree. What, Roger Ebert never has occasion for mindless, low-brow humor? Think about it. He never stuffs his throat full of greasy chicken wings and fat burgers? Clearly, he hasn't spent his life perfecting his body. So why give Rob Schneider a hard time? If you ask me, it's a shame Rob didn't make a third Deuce Bigalow. What's my point? I dunno. Oh, yeah. Buy me presents.